Kate Kei

How to deal with nervous habits that show a Lack of Confidence – Part 2

Here is the list of some common nervous habits that can be interpreted as the lack of confidence and some advice on dealing with them.

1. Slouching

Slouching makes us look not only unsure of ourselves, but also much less attractive. When you slouch, your belly is protruding forward and seems bigger and pending, your chest looks hollow and your neck is forced to stretch forward. Even the best suit or dress starts looking as if hanging on a clothes hanger and fits weirdly. In addition, it is bad for your health : organs get misplaced and some bones and articulations are forced to bear more weight than needed.

How to learn not to slouch

How to fight it?

Go to a mirror and look at yourself. Straighten your back and slightly pull your shoulders back. Make sure your chest and your head don’t exaggeratedly protrude forward. Maintain this position for a couple of minutes while looking at yourself and paying attention to how it feels. Try and maintain your back straight for the rest of the day and the following days. Remind yourself to straighten your back until it actually becomes a habit.

I am proud to be me

That’s an affirmation or a mantra to tell yourself while straightening your back that will also help you feel more confident. Imagine there is a big beautiful eye in the middle of your chest, just above the breast level. Imagine that every time you straighten your back and pull back your shoulders, this eye opens up to the world to look at it and to show the world your brilliance. Do you want everyone to see how brilliant and great you are? Well, then keep this eye wide open!

2. Biting your nails

That is a very common nervous habit. Remember the babies: to sooth themselves they suck their fingers. Adults cannot really do that. So, they bite their nails instead. As a result, the nails are ragged-looking and there is a risk of catching some sort of infection or disease.


Stop biting your fingernails

How to fight it?

Today the market offers a lot of products and substances that are very unpleasant-tasting and are made to stop you from biting your fingernails. You can use those.

Another advice would be to regularly get an expensive manicure, do the fake nails or just cover them with polish to make them look healthier and grow better.

If it is appropriate, wear gloves when possible.

And whatever you do, keep your hands clean.

3. Avoiding eye contact

Sometimes when we feel unsure or insecure, we are having trouble to maintain eye contact with our interlocutor. However, in western cultures eye contact means not only confidence, but also respect.


How to stop avoiding eye contact

Here is a couple of tips to make it easier:

  • Remind yourself to look at your interlocutor from time to time.
  • Make sure your phone is away and focus on staying involved with the conversation. It will force you to look up from time to time.
  • If meeting someone’s eyes is difficult for you, you don’t have to look them straight in the eyes. Instead, look at the space between their eyebrows. You can also look in turns at their nose, at their cheekbone, then back at their forehead, so that you keep looking at their face. That works just as well as the eye contact.


To be continued…


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